This Father's Day, I was asked to write for the weekly 'Kerygma', a leaflet that carries a writing of exhortation or encouragement for the body of believers in Christ that comes together as a Church. I have made available the article with the hope that it may encourage some fathers who read this. My witness is that God is faithful to do exceeding abundantly more than we can ask of or imagine when we choose to submit to Him and His word.
By way of experience, I am not qualified to write to fathers for there are far more experienced ones already. If success was a measure, I would not qualify either for I am painfully conscious of my mistakes and foolish choices and recognize God’s mercy and preserving hand—for even when I stumbled, the Lord kept me from falling headlong; He upheld me with His hand (Psa. 37:24). I write therefore as a witness to God’s goodness—to testify of the steps He directed me to take; to witness of His grace that brought obedience to that leading; and to display for His glory the results.
Though I committed my life to Jesus Christ when I was 19 years old, it wasn’t until six years ago that God caused me to pursue Him with a sincerity of undistracted devotion; something that I regret I lacked in previous years. The first fruit this brought about was a change in my behaviour at home—for as Christians we all know that that is where one’s true life shows. Within a couple of years this consistent behaviour that sought God’s honour in everything I did became noticeable to my wife and my children. Did I slip? Of course I did. Numerous times and still do; but it is the Lord who sustained me to persevere. I also spent long hours with the children—talking, arguing, reasoning—making my work and money move down my priority list. The first thing I witnessed by this working of God in me was the effect it had on my children. As a father, I became an example, someone they could rely on and even confide in.
One thing about God is that He works with manifold wisdom in different individuals accomplishing the same goal—His kingdom, His purpose, His will, His honour. So while He was working with grace and mercy in me, He was doing the same in my wife, Ingrid. The result was that I began to see Ingrid as not just my wife, a mother and family member but as my friend and as my working partner in God’s business. Apart from me spending long hours with her—we’d go for walks together, have long chats over cups of tea—I found God impressing on our hearts what we could do together as co-workers in the family.
We all know that there is power in united prayer; for did not our Lord Himself say, “If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven?” (Mt. 18:19). In 2013 we first saw how God influenced our hearts to begin each year with a 40-day fast with one single agenda—the spiritual lives of our children. As parents we upheld before God their own walk with Him. We pleaded with our Helper to influence their hearts—that they would make their Maker their only love and that He would have first place in their choices and decisions. This progressed and became more regular. True to the faithful Saviour that we pray to, His ears were not only attentive to our cry (Psa. 34:15), He answered prayer. As a farmer sows with expectation that he will reap a rich harvest, both father and mother sowed with similar expectation. The result that year was evident even before it concluded.
In the years that followed we persevered in prayer for them. Our agenda before God remained the same. We knew that if we sought first His kingdom and His righteousness (Mt. 6:33), everything else—their future, their education and all other aspects of their lives would not only be added but would be safe in His hands. We have never been disappointed. And though our journey continues and we are constantly upholding new challenges before our Helper, the agenda of our petition has not changed. So the second thing that I as a father can witness to is God’s faithfulness when we trust Him as our only source of help (Psa. 118:8, 9)—this more so when we come to Him as parents with one heart. God never disappoints us nor does He put us to shame (Psa. 22:5).
Personal interaction with family members puts to test on a daily basis all of our obedience to love and submit to what pleases God. Patience and kindness; gentleness and forbearance—key attributes of love are some of the qualities I find God flashing before me as my constant target (I am using work-place terminology). Maintaining a balance between guiding and correcting the now grown children while yet not exasperating them (Eph. 6:4 NIV) is always on my mind. Investing in the children’s lives by praying fervently for God to execute His perfect will—be it in their education, their jobs, their careers—is what I have found God guiding me make as my major investment portfolio.
My witness as one who submits to the all-wise instruction of Him who never fails; who knows the end from the beginning; and who keeps safe those who diligently seek Him (Heb. 11:6b) is that the results have been remarkable. Though a father for more than 21 years, I have found myself grateful for all the kindness and mercy and goodness and faithfulness God has shown us as a family especially in the last six years. What I have learnt and witnessed by submitting to the guidance of the Father from whom all families on earth derives its name (Eph. 3:15) has never ceased to make me fall on my face with gratitude. For had it not been for Him, I and my family would have been swallowed up alive in the deluge of misplaced priorities, deception and corruption that is in the world (Psa. 124:1-5).
